【笑話】日本送禮文化 [Site Map]

m9007

2002-09-26, 10:24 PM

這使我想起一篇文章，是英文的。也有人翻成中文不過很不順。
所以要請會英文的在重新翻譯一下了。

原文

一個老美看日本人

When most Americans think of Japanese people, they think: polite, respectful, accommodating. (They could also possibly think: Chinese). However, it is important to learn where the truth ends and our Western stereotyping begins.

Of course, it would be irresponsible of me to make any sweeping generalizations about such a large group of people, but ALL Japanese people have three characteristics: they "speak" English, they dress very nicely, and they're short.

The Japanese school system is controlled by Japan's central government, which, of course, is not biased in any way (recent Japanese history textbook title: "White Demons Attempt To Take Away our Holy Motherland, But Great And Powerful Father-Emperor Deflects Them With Winds From God: The Story Of WW2"). Because of this, all Japanese have been taught the same English-language course, which consists of reading The Canterbury Tales, watching several episodes of M*A*S*H, and reading the English dictionary from cover to cover. Armed with this extensive language knowledge, the children of Japan emerge from school ready to take part in international business and affairs, uttering such remarkable and memorable sentences as "You have no chance to survive make your time", and adding to their own products by inscribing English slogans, such as "Just give this a Paul. It may be the Paul of your life" on the side of a slot machine.

Secondly, all Japanese people dress extremely well. This fits in with the larger Japanese attitude of neatness and order. Everything has to be in its correct place with the Japanese, or a small section in the right lobe of their brain begins to have seizures and they exhibit erratic violent behavior until the messiness is eradicated. The Japanese even FOLD THEIR DIRTY CLOTHES. Sloppiness is not tolerated in Japanese society, and someone with a small wrinkle in their shirt, which they thought they could hide by wearing a hooded sweatshirt over it (possibly emblazoned with a catchy English phrase like "Spread Beaver, Violence Jack-Off!"), will be promptly beaten to death with tiny cellular phones.

Lastly, the Japanese are all short. Really, really short. It's kind of funny. Not ones to leave being tall to the Europeans or Africans, however, the Japanese have single-handedly brought shoes with incredibly gigantic soles into style, so that they can finally appear to be of actual human height, when in reality their height suggests that they may indeed be closer in relation to the race of dwarves or Hobbits.

Japanese culture is also very "interesting", by which we mean, "confusing" and in several cases "dangerous". Their culture is based on the concept of "In Group/Out Group", in which all Japanese people are one big "In" group, and YOU are the "Out" group. Besides this sense of alienation, Japan also produces cartoons, and a wide variety of other consumer products which are crammed into your face 24 hours a day, seven days a week. The Japanese also like cock-fighting monsters that live in your pants, taking baths with the elderly, and killing themselves.

Japanese food is what some people would call "exotic", but what most people call "disgusting", or perhaps, in some areas, "whack". Japanese food evolved in ancient days, when the main staple of the diet was rice. People got so sick and tired of eating rice, in fact, that they ate just about anything else they could find, from seaweed to other Japanese people. This has led to the creation of such wonderful foods as "Natto", which I believe is a kind of bean but tastes like battery acid, and "Pocky", which is a stick with different frostings on it, the flavors of which include Sawdust and Strawberry.

Despite this variety of foods, however, the Japanese have succeeded in making every single thing they eat, from tea to plums, taste like Smokey beef.

中文翻譯

當美國人想起日本人時, 他們思考: 有禮貌, 尊重, 親切。(他們也能有可能思考: 中文) 。然而, 得知真理在哪裡結束, 這重要並且我們西方鉛板開始。
當然, 在這樣的一大群人們周遭(進行)任何打掃概括, 這我是不負責任的, 但是, 所有日本(語)的人都有三個特性: 他們講(話) 英語, 他們很精細地穿上外套, 並且他們短。

由日本的中央政府控制了日本(語)的學校系統, 它(這), 當然, 沒透過任何方法偏見 (最近日本(語)歷史教科書 titl e: 白 Demons 試圖拿走我們的神聖祖國, 但是有去d:風的偉大的和強大的父親皇帝偏轉他們棧單2 的故事 ) 。由於它, 所有日本(語)都已經教了這個相同的英語語言過程(道路), 它(這)由閱讀故事坎特伯里組成, , 看 M 的幾個事件, 和因蓋子而異閱讀英語辭典 M * A * S * H 。用這個廣泛語言知識武裝, 日本的孩子們從準備參加國際商業的學校出現並且事情, 如當你(們)沒有機會生存十足如此顯著的和值得紀念的句子構成你(們)的時間 , 並且透過記下英語(國)口號增加到自己的產品, 例如剛剛(僅僅)給這保羅
。它(這)也許是你(們)的生活(生命)的保羅
袒護一個槽(縫)機器。
其次, 所有日本(語)的人都穿著得極為整齊。它符合在中整潔(靈巧)和次序(訂單,命令)的更大的日本(語)姿勢(態)。一切都用日本(語)必須在它的正確的地方, 或者他們的腦正確(右)葉片中的一個小部分開始有奪取和他們表現出(陳列)不穩定猛烈(強烈)行為直到根除這個雜亂性。日本(語)甚至摺疊他們的骯髒服裝。 ) , 用微小細胞電話對死將敏捷地打(擊)。

最後, 日本(語)都短。確實, 確實短。它(這)滑稽可笑好心。一到葉子(假期)不對歐洲或者非洲高, 然而, 日本(語)有單一- handedly 的帶來的鞋子此時有極為巨大唯一的到風格裡, 他們最後才能夠顯得(似乎)具有實際人類高(度), 那時實際上他們的高(度)建議他們的確也許關於(根據) dwarves 或者 Hobbits 的比賽更緊(更近)。

日本(語)文化很也是和在幾個情況(箱子)中危險。他們的文化基於的概念並且你(們)是出(外) 小組。除了疏遠的這個意義以外, 日本也生產(產生) cartoons , 和各種各樣的其他消費者產品一星期一天到你(們)的面(臉)裡填滿了 24 小時, 七天。日本(語)也喜歡公雞戰鬥的怪物, 在你(們)的氣喘中生活(居住), 用年長的採取洗澡, 和自殺。

日本(語)食品是一些人叫外來 , 的多數人不叫什麼。在古代天(日)以內日本(語)食品進化了, 當飲食的主要主要成份是米(飯)時。人們如此有病和厭煩吃米(飯), 事實上, , 以致於他們幾乎吃了別的什麼事情, 他們能發現(得到), 從海草到其他日本(語)人們。它導引像 Natto 一樣極好的食品的創造 , 我相信它是像電池酸(性物質)一樣的一種大豆但是味道, 它(這)是棍子(手杖)此時有不同 frostings 在它(這)上和有凹坑 , 它的味道包括木屑和草莓。

儘管這種種食品然而, 日本(語)使每件單一東西(事情)都成為他們取得成功吃, 從茶到梅, 像煙牛肉那樣的味道。